Adsects

I woke up this morning whispering to myself a slogan from a well known advert that I see everyday on the train. Picking up what I thought to be an Independent, I saw it was the Metro clothed in sheep's clothing - a full cover advert by Microsoft mimicing the vast white spaces of google, or the new Arena poster inspired Independent front pages. Intruding into my web browser, my evening walk, my life, adverts and the semiological nonsense they implant in my brain. Did I come up with that line myself? Do I really hold that opinion?

Some bastards in Buffalo of all places have now developed a method of lasering in a logo onto the wings of a butterfly. The laser activates genetically altered cells in the insect which flouresce when heated. How could we improve on the beauty of a butterfly? Well, we could imprint a microsoft logo on it apparently.

I imagined the scene: late one evening in the future I leave a window open while one (energy saving) lightbulb keeps sentinel; a genetically altered moth, now a harbinger of sell crashes into my haven, bounces off the lightbulb and into my face. In a blind and stupid panic I skitter across the floor rubbing in horror at my face. In the days of post traumatic stress to come the image of flapping wings intertwined with my blinking eyelashes, except there's something else, like a high speed flick book the wings are branded with a face, a clown's face under two golden arches.

I wouldn't be surprised if British farmers of the future decided to supplement their meagre income by investing in genetically altered flouresocows, which glow with the Starbucks logo as commuter trains pass them. Or rather morbidly they could brandish speech bubbles sponsored by British Beef - "I'm what's going into your hamburger".

It's a semiologist's nightmare, especially as animals have no prior consent - making them an advertisers dream. Body advertising isn't a new concept. Some chap last year offered his forehead as advertising space on ebay and was paid £16500 for a temporary tattoo on his brow. Animals have no consent or fee issues which makes them perfect for unwitting advertising.